he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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