I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
