I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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