So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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