so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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