We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
