why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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