# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
