We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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