HIV tests are more positive than that guy
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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