So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
