I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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