i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
