You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
