Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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