am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
