the new term for farting is butt boxing.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
