I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
