She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
this is an emotional support booty call
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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