Do you still have your period?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
