I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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