I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
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