This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
