I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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