and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
