What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
