So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
