What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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