I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
