You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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