So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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