Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
