i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
