Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
