i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
