I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
