At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
