The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
