ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
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aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
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If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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