i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
this must be what syphilis tastes like
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
