I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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