He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
