if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
