u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
