i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
