Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
