If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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