My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The uberlube is also flammable
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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