I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
