you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
