so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
