u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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