If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
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