There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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