she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
