Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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