definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
